How To Play With Children When You're Utterly Exhuasted

It’s my belief, as a dad, that I need to make sure to give my children plenty of time, attention, and influence. Children learn certain things from their mother and certain things from their father. In some circumstances, one parent is not around and the other must do their best to make up for it. I’m not really equipped to address those situations. For dads who are around to take responsibility for your children, think long term. The little things that you do day in and day our are like building blocks in the lives of your children, and the finished product might take 20 or more years, but will reflect the time and work you put into it.

Sadly, when we have young children, we’re often still sort of young and starting out in life ourselves. Our careers are just getting off the ground, our educations aren’t finished, and sometimes we still haven’t figured out what we want to be when we grow up. I cringe when I hear people my age saying that they will wait to have children until they’re ready. I’ll be 33 next week, and I’m still not ready, but I’m glad we got started. I don’t honestly believe that anybody is ever ready. You never have enough money, enough time, and enough experience. I honestly wish we’d had our children when we were younger and I didn’t realize that I had to sleep at night. I was 30 when Joshua was born, and it was just plain brutal. Why couldn’t I have had kids at 22 when I was up all night drinking anyway?

In any case, if you’re like me, your career is still fairly new, you’re still finding out who you are, and maybe you’re undertaking your degree a little later in life. But the children are still at home, and they still want you to play with them. When I have a busy day at work, and I have to work late or spend time in the evening working on my course work for my degree, I can see a difference in my kids from not getting time with me.

There are those times when you can take them out in the back yard and throw a ball around, there are times you can throw them in a wagon and go for a walk around the neighborhood, and there are times when you take mommy to the mall. But what about those nights when you get home from work and just don’t have anything left to give to your family? I’ve found a few activities that can literally be done laying on your back. They’re fun for the kids, they’re fun for you, and they allow just a little bit of relaxation and re-cooperation while you’re at them. These have been tested on boys up to about 2 1/2 years old. I don’t know how well they work with older children, or with girls. I imagine at this age, they’d work fine with girls too.

Hiding Under a Blanket

I’m not sure why this one is so much fun, but it is. On nights when I want to flop down on the couch, my kids will usually suggest this one on their own and they often bring me the blanket. This one started when I was playing a hiding game with Joshua, probably before Caleb was born. I would hide under a blanket and let him try to get in. Well, he decided that he liked being in the blanket and now he brings the blanket to me, much to my wife’s dismay. She goes to the trouble to fold them and put them on the back of the couch only to turn around and see Joshua holding the blanket in front of me saying “Under blanket, Daddy, under blanket!” I throw the blanket over my head and theirs, and they spends the next couple of minutes getting on and off my lap, wiggling around on the couch, and trying to pull the blanket off while I try to put it back on. This one can also be done laying on the couch with a headache.

Fort

This is a variation of Hiding Under a Blanket. Simply pull up a chair or something to hold the blanket up and you’ve got a low-budget fort. Kids love this, and to be honest, it’s not a bad way for a grown man to spend time at either.

Jump On Daddy

This one is an all-time favorite, and doesn’t take any instruction at all. Just lay down on the floor and your kids will figure out that rules of this game all by themselves. They’ll have a lot of fun. You may have to help them with balance, especially with toddlers just learning to stand and walk. This gets a little more complicated when one child is still young enough to play but the other is big enough to crack your ribs or rupture your spleen. Also, be careful of our “Achilles Heel” (you know exactly what I’m talking about, and it’s not our feet), but Jump On Daddy is a game that can be played even after children have penetrated your defenses and caused that injury. This game will go on long after you have rolled onto your stomach and begun the 20 minutes of moaning in pain that accompany a misstep of this magnitude.

Car/Train Crash-up

I know there are various theories of socialization, but this game really ends them for me. I’ve found that nobody has to teach boys to appreciate a good car crash; they come pre-programmed with this feature. Simply take out their cars or trains and crash them. This game is even more fun with the pull-back cars because you can get a good running start to crash into the others. This also works with trains, and since my kids are in a big Thomas the Tank Engine phase, we have plenty of choo-choos to go around.

Another variation I’ve tried on this game is called “Meteor”. I took a small, soft ball and dropped it or threw it at some of the toy cars and trains to knock them over. This game always gets a laugh. The kids love it.

SAWF (Stuffed Animal Wrestling Federation)

This game is self explanatory. The stuffed animals or dolls can be made to wrestle with each other, or can even be used to tickle the kids. This game is always good for a quick laugh when somebody is in a bad mood.

My wife once got me a father’s “Page-a-day” calendar. I haven’t finished it, even though it was a 2004 calendar. I think I’m still in September. One of the pages gave me a great idea that has stayed with me. It said that no matter how fussy the children are, they can’t resist Daddy trying to balance something on his head. This one does work pretty well. No matter how cranky, tired, or fussy the kids are, this one normally does get their attention and often generates a laugh and a copycat balancing act.