Most Likely To...Get The Death Penalty?

Interesting post a friend of mine came across. I guy I knew from 7th grade into high school apparently killed his 17 month old daughter in a drug-addled rage. It's the second case mentioned: Lance.

A friend of mine got suspended in high school for kicking his ass. Maybe he didn't go far enough.

Some of us from those days have come a long way. Others, not so much. I couldn't find anything detailing the disposition of the case. All I know is, I'm glad I lost touch with him along the way.

Why Do Old People Act Like Everything Is The First Time?

I know, respect your elders.

But when you're out and about, dealing with them can sure be annoying. First, they drive way too slow. They should not be allowed to drive anymore.

They also move really slow. I hate getting stuck behind an old person in a narrow aisle or walking through a door.

Several years ago, I went to Ponderosa on a Sunday late morning (quick, before the Baptists get out of church!) There were two old women in front of us. At Ponderosa, you order an entre, get your drink, then sit down and eat from the salad bar until your steak or chicken are done.

These two old women were absolutely mystified by how the soda fountain worked. I couldn't understand why. But they were, and I had to wait for several minutes until they figured out how to get liquid into their cups and move on.

Another disturbing aspect of these two older women (I estimated them to be in their 70's) was at the salad bar. There were some tasty looking buttered rolls. Between the two of them, these old women squeezed just about every roll before choosing one each. I started losing my appetite.

I was nowhere near as courageous as I am now. I wanted to ask them in any of the 7 or so decades they've been on this earth, was this the first time either of them EVER ate at a Ponderosa type restaurant?

Another aspect of old people that pisses me off is when they pay with checks. Almost every time I get stuck in line at a store behind an old woman writing a check, when she's asked for ID, she has to spend several minutes searching her purse for her driver's license.

I assume most of them have been writing checks since the 1960's or so, and always wonder why they always act so surprised and unprepared when asked for an ID.

I always tell myself, when I am an old person, I will not act like the old people who annoy me.

The Value of Advice

I have come to the conclusion that advice from other people is worth exactly as much time, effort, and money as they're willing to put into helping you follow it.

People are full of advice about what YOU should be doing. Most if it requires more money, energy, or commitment than you're capable of. Or maybe you don't give a crap, and it's easier to endure the suck than to work out of it for now.

Case in point: People are constantly telling me how I should take my ex-wife to court to sue for custody of my children, since I pay so much in alimony and child support. When I ask them how I'm supposed to pay for a lawyer and court fees, I get a blank stare, followed by something like "I don't know man, but you really should do it."

It's easy for people to offer advice in a vacuum. No matter how good or bad said advice might be, THEY aren't on the line for following it. But they somehow think they know what's best for you.

My advice: do what I do and blow it off. Or come back with something like "OK, you seem so insistent that I do this. How much would you like to contribute to my legal fund?" Bring up the PayPal or BitCoin app on your phone for effect. That usually shuts them up.

Then there are the people who ask you for advice, and argue with you about it. Or expect you to do all the work and make all the decisions for them. Then they ignore it.

I've reached the point where I don't usually bother offering advice unless I'm asked by somebody serious about following it. Also, it has to be an area where I have some knowledge or expertise in.

Jinxes and Silly Superstition

It's amazing to me how people can believe some of the silly things they say. I think most people are simply parrots who repeat what they hear from their families and society "Go to college and get any degree, and they have to pay you money". "One vote can make all the difference!" "Be a girl's friend and she'll eventually fall in love with you!"

My wife made a comment the other night that gave me some material for a rant. We were talking about when to take the Christmas tree down. I don't care. I wouldn't have a problem just leaving it up all year. She said "It's bad luck to leave the tree up past New Year's."

I went on a light hearted tirade. "God, why do bad things keep happening to me?" "Because you left the damn tree up until Jan 4, idiot! If you'd taken it down on time, you'd be having a great year."

Our lives are not governed by doing or not doing stupid things, like tapping the dashboard when you run a yellow light. "Knock on wood!"

And seriously, you people who talk about Karma, look up what it REALLY means in the Hindu religion. It's not as simple as the Christian "you reap what you sow".

Aaron Cleary: Before You Become A Doctor

One of Aaron Cleary's readers sent him a write up about what it takes to become a doctor in 'murca. No wonder there are so few good doctors out there. People like me who can keep appointment times and follow up aren't going to jump through those hoops.

When I went into delayed enlistment for the Navy in 1991, the military was hurting for doctors. Had I chosen that route, they would have put me through college and med school. I wasn't interested though. And I'm still glad I chose electronics instead.

The one military choice I regret is the Army has a flight program where they make you a warrant officer and send you to flight school to fly helicopters. The reason I didn't choose that one is because, well, it's the Army, and two, the Army can't guarantee you anything. The Navy will give you an mostly-inviolable contract. The Army could decide they need cooks or grunts and send you that direction no matter what the recruiter promised. When Ralph Nader was drafted during Korea, he was already a practicing lawyer. Did the Army make use of that? Hell, no. They gave him a spatula.

The Problem With Christmas Music

... is they almost never make anything new.

I'm mostly burned out completely on the secular Christmas music. I can't stand "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree", with it's early era synthesizers and that chick's raspy voice.

Don't get me started on Bing Crosby. Way overdone. I'd love to get through the rest of my life without having to hear that again.

I went to high school in San Antonio, so "Feliz Navidad" is definitely out as something I can stand to hear.

But even among the Christmas songs I like in my iTunes library, it's basically different people singing the same songs. I put my iPhone on shuffle for my Christmas playlist last night, and got 3 versions in a row of "O Come, All Ye Faithful".

Of course, when they do make a new Christmas song, it's something like "Christmas Shoes", which got overplayed and I burned out on it within a year or two.

At least we have Trans Siberian Orchestra, which combines the best of Christmas with the best of 80's style rock and metal.

Merry Christmas.

How To Behave When You Encounter Somebody With A Name With An Obvious Insult Or Pop Culture Reference

You keep your damn mouth shut. You're not smart enough to be the first person to ever make that connection, and they're probably sick of hearing it.

I have a last name that is forever cemented into a connection with Ferris Bueller's Day Off, specifically Ben Stein's monotone repetition of it.

And yet everywhere I go, I deal with it. As soon as I give my name, some wise-ass goes off with "Bueller, Bueller".

A couple of weeks ago it backfired on somebody. I had to visit another office to get something taken care of, and I guess I got a little intense about it. Bad time to interrupt me. I was asked my name so the person helping me could access the database, and some fat guy sitting in a cubicle decides to launch into "Bueller, Bueller". As I said, I was a little intense about getting my issue taken care of, and he broke my concentration. Before I could stop my own mouth, I blurted out:

"You must be a freaking genius! That movie came out in 1985, and you're the first person in 30 years to make that connection!"

He turned his head and went back to work. I guess I hurt his feelings. I don't care. I've been dealing with that since the 6th grade.

See, it's one thing if you know somebody and have a relationship with them. A coworker of mine has a French last name, which I tease him about incessantly. But we've built a relationship, trust, respect and all that. I sure as hell didn't tease him about his French last name on his first day of work.

If you don't have a relationship with someone, just keep your mouth shut. Nobody wants to hear it. You're not funny. You're an idiot.

Facebook Spying: Why Do People Act Surprised?

Leaving Facebook seems to be the latest fad. Videos like the one below are popping up. People are viewing them, then swearing to "delete my Facebook".


The question I have is, why are you acting surprised? Maybe it's just me. I've known about this for years. I assumed everyone else did too. Of course, Facebook offers you a free platform to post your rants, political memes, and favorite songs. In exchange, they data mine everything you do, including your GPS data, and advertise to you. They also can sell your photos to advertisers, who can use them for advertisements. Their Terms Of Service have stated this all along.

I'm not opposed to people leaving Facebook. I'm pretty much sick of it myself. I'd rather we all move to Google+ or Diaspora. But I hang around Facebook because that's where everybody is. People prefer it.

I don't do much with it though. I might go on once or twice a week. After I scroll through about two hours worth of posts, I give up. I might post once in a while, but usually to locked down lists.

If you chose to leave Facebook though, remember: it never forgets. I know people who supposedly deleted their profiles, but all of their previous posts are still up. Since Facebook links to everything, the songs they listen to and videos they like are still posted.

Remember, when you are getting a service for free, you're not the customer. You're the product.

And if you're just coming across information about Facebook's use of your privacy NOW, it's too late. You have already been assimilated.

Maddox On Stupid Lifehacks

There are times I love being out of the loop. This is one such time.

I was scrolling through my RSS feeds and noticed a new post from Maddox.

Apparently, some of the popular lifehack sites have grown even more pointless than they were when I jumped off the train. Maddox ranted about "lifehack" videos about how to eat an apple and how to cut a cake (hold it together with a rubber band?)

Lifehacker used to be a great site. I read it every day for years. Then it sold out to Gawker. And it became irrelevant. Back when Gina Trapani ran it, Lifehacker gave out some really good tips. After she sold it, the content became about as useful as "remember to breath".

This is why tech type sites need to remain independent. Once they sell out to the "mainstream", they become mainstream.  Which makes them useless.

I still search through Lifehacker's archives from time to time when I need to know something solid. At least Gawker left those up to balance out the vapid and worthless content of the last several years.

"Jinx" Is A Stupid Superstition

Traffic in Northern Virginia is horrible. A couple weeks ago, on a Tuesday, it took me two hours to drive 30 miles because of several wrecks on I-95. The next day, there were multiple wrecks in the HOV lane on the way home, so we spent some time at a dead stop. I commented to my riders that I notice accidents seem to happen in multiples. You don't get just one; you get several during your weekly commute.

Then it happened: "Don't jinx us".

I'm not convinced there is any sort of thing as a jinx; that making a statement will actually influence the universe and cause the very thing, or the opposite thing, to happen. Really. Do you think traffic would have been fine until I made a comment, then the "universe" says "We'll show him!"?

Social Media Is Getting To Be Too Much Work

I've been on Twitter since 2007 and Facebook since 2008. I was on social media since before anybody got the stupid idea to call themselves a "Social Media Consultant" and host "webinars" on it.

Since then, I've had accounts on most of the social media sites: Tumblr, Pinterest, MySpace, etc. I refuse to join some of the smaller ones that pop up from time to time, and I refuse to join Instagram.

Lately I've lost a lot of enthusiasm for keeping up with any of it. Recently, I installed the Twitter app on Netvibes, and tweets started showing up in my RSS feeds. That lasted for about Friday morning before I killed the app. Twitter sucks. I used to think it was cool, but keeping up on it is too much of a firehose. Plus the hashtags. Some tweets are nothing more than a collection of hashtags. They make no sense.

Facebook isn't much better. Often people come up with some interesting and witty political meme photos, then overplay them worse than Geico commercials. Often the same person will keep posting the same picture as if it's a rational debate. "Look, The Obamessiah with a silly bumper sticker sized political argument! You liberals sure look stupid now!"

(I recently came across a quote from the Russian Mad Monk, Grigory Rasputin, that said "The left are idiots and the right are fools." I consider myself to be neither.)

Anymore, when I do log onto Facebook, I go back about an hour or two in my timeline and decide it's too much work. Then I check on the latest statuses of a few friends who occasionally post interesting thoughts, close the tab, and move on to better things. I check Twitter a couple times a month to see if anybody sent me a message.

It's just not fun anymore.

How To Drive Without Causing An Accident

This post seems entirely unnecessary, except that traffic accidents happen every day. I live in the northern Virginia (NOVA) area, and spend a lot of my time suffering because some idiot or another caused a traffic accident while all I'm trying to do is get to work. Traffic accidents happen here so much I'm starting to wonder if it's a weird regional hobby or bizarre sexual fetish.

I'm sure the people who should read this post will not read it, but maybe somebody can forward it to them?

Driving without causing an accident sure seems plenty simple. I've been doing it for about 23 years by this point. Here are my secrets:

1) Following Distance

I took Driver's Ed in 1990. I'm pretty sure one of the first things I was taught was the "4 second rule". For those who slept through that part of Driver's Ed, that means you should be able to pick a reference point ahead of you (telephone pole, mile marker, roadkill, etc) and count "One one thousand, two one thousand..." up to four from the moment the car in front of you crosses the reference point until your car crosses it. This is so simple, but I'm apparently the only person who still observes it, and it's saved my ass many times.

2) Maintain your car

When I was in the Navy, a friend of mine knew his car needed a brake job. He kept letting it go because let's face it, they didn't pay us that much. One day, an F-350 stopped in front of his CRX and his CRX couldn't stop. The F-350 didn't feel it, but the passenger noticed a tiny rice grinder disappear from the mirror so they checked it out. My friend was fine, but the CRX never rode again.

It goes without saying: if you're too much of a dumbass to leave space between the car in front of you and you, at least make sure your brakes work.

3) Don't screw with your radio or phone

Seriously, am I the only person left who knows it's illegal in most states to drive with a phone held up to your ear? My car has Microsoft Sync. I hate talking on the phone, but for those few phone calls I actually want to take, I can now take them over my car's speakers and microphone.

I use Waze a lot. I have a windshield mount so my phone is right in front of me. I recommend you do the same. I do allow myself minor distractions, but no longer than it would take to check a mirror or my gas gauge.

4) Get enough rest

If your weekend plans are to party for 4 days straight then drive non-stop up and down the I-95 corridor, I hate you. I hope you suffer immensely. Most of my 4 hour commutes to work seem to involve somebody who didn't get enough sleep and tried to tackle a New York to Florida run overnight.

5) Don't be afraid to pull over

If you're drowsy, or your children need a beating to shut them up so you can concentrate, or you dropped your breakfast sandwich, just pull off the road.  It's not that hard. It saves lives!

What Makes A Good Place To Live?

I take surveys. Sometimes they're painful, but I got sick of reading about how "surveys reported" followed by something I disagreed with. At least if I'm taking the surveys, I know my opinion is reflected in them.

Plus I can occasionally build up enough points to get stuff. I got $100 check earlier this year from taking surveys.

I just took a survey on Arlington County, Virginia. I work in Arlington County. I do not live there. I'm farther south in Prince William County, where it's a little less expensive to live. I couldn't find a spare bedroom to rent in Arlington County for under $1500.

The survey asked what I thought of Arlington County, and how I rank various attributes of places to live.

Taking Leave To Work

I remember when my children were little, I would make semi-facetious comments like "I can't wait for Monday, when I can get back to work and relax a little". Like many of you, I am a knowledge worker. I get paid to work with my mind, and to type stuff and send emails and comments and stuff like that.

Since I got a Fitbit for Father's Day last year, I can see how if I didn't get up to walk around, I would move about 2 miles during work, most of that just getting in the building and getting water for coffee, head calls, and such, then back out to get a ride home.

So usually, when I have to use my vacation (leave), it's physically more exhausting than just staying at work.

I have to take the rest of this week to go back to New Jersey and get my yard ready for spring.

I'm loading up content on my iPhone to listen to while I work in the yard. Since Aaron Clarey doesn't have an RSS feed for his podcast, I downloaded his episodes and am manually importing them into Downcast.

This year, I have a very unique problem I've never dealt with before: use or lose. I've reached the maximum leave carry-over, so I have to burn about 3 weeks or I'll lose it. And they don't want you to lose it.

Of course, I have another unique problem called Sequestration, in which I'll lose a day a week of work and 20% of my pay for 6 months. I'm not complaining about the day, but the paycheck is going to hurt. You can help by buying the great books I recommend (or even the ones I don't) from my affiliate link. I have over 100 blog posts under my "book" label, so I'm sure there's something you'll love.

In Others Hands

I recently discovered a treasure trove of full length shows on YouTube. I started with shows that I love like Extreme Engineering, then moved to shows I hadn't seen before like Big, Bigger, Biggest. Then I found a buttload of Air Crash Investigations and Mayday. I love this kind of television.

After watching about a week and a half of Air Crash Investigations (and thankfully, I don't appear to have exhausted this resource), I had a scrary thought.

How many times a day do you find yourself in this situation? Every time you get on a plane. or drive a car, ride a train, drive on a highway, etc, consider this. Every time you do such things, you are placing your life in the hands of a string of people, pilots, engineers, mechanics, air traffic controllers, etc, any one of which could have "phoned it in" during their part in the chain of events that you found your life in the hands of.

The pilot of a British Airways flight got sucked out the window because a technician put too small of bolts in. It was dark and he tried to eyeball them. He also didn't check the manual because he thought he knew what he was doing.

A SwissAir fligh crashed because the entertainment system overheated and the insulation was flamable. Apparently, it was spliced directly into the electrical system with no circuit breaker.

An Alaska Airways flight crashed in the ocean off Los Angeles because the airline cut back on maintenance and a jackscrew wasn't lubricated and broke off in the horizontal stabilizer, pushing the plane into a death dive.

A commuter flight crashed in Georgia because the guy who was supposed to inspect the propellers wasn't trained properly.

A Japan Airlines 747 crashed because of an improper repair done to its pressure dome. The dome burst in flight, taking off the tail fin.

An American Airlines DC-10 had an engine fly off during take-off because of improper maintenance. The plane could have survived, but the pilots were trained to "go to V2 speed", which was slower than the plane was flying at the time. The plane lost lift over the engineless wing and crashed. Also, most of the instruments were wired into the engine that blew off. No engine, no stall indicator.

When ou think about it, it's terrifying how many hands we put our lives in as we go through our days.  I'm glad I haven't flow in more than 4 years.

Every time you eat, you have to trust that the food was obtained and prepared correctly. Every time you take medicine, you have to trust that the manufacturer and pharmacist and doctor had a freaking clue what they were doing. (NOTE: doctors and pharmacists doing their jobs correctly kill more people every year than guns do).

For the most part, things go right. But when they don't, you're screwed. As for you, please practice attention to detail as you do your own duties. Especially when "phoning it in" could get somebody killed.

Motorcycles

I took the Virginia Motorcycle class two years ago. At the time, I was thinking about getting a motorcycle to save gas on the 2003 Kia Sedona minivan I was driving. That car had a powerful engine and was comfortable, but the gas mileage sucked. Even if I babied the heck out of it, the best I could hope for was 18 MPG. I think I got 22 driving back from Buffalo, NY the last time I saw my grandmother. But a lot of that was downhill.

So far, the only motorcycle I have ever driven was the Honda Nighthawk 250cc I rode in the class. I was hooked though.

I get a lot of conflicting advice on motorcycles. Some people say you should always get a used bike for your first one, because you'll always lay it down. Other say get brand new because its yours. Some say get a slightly smaller engine (like 600-750). Other say you'll outgrow it right away and you should just get a 1200-1600.

Then others say just go ahead and get a 250. They're inexpensive, get great mileage, and nobody will know it's a 250 unless YOU TELL THEM.

But then the Sedona ended up needing more than $2000 worth of work, including a problem with the air conditioner that I'd already put $600 into and they still couldn't figure it out. With a very hot summer coming up and driving back and forth from Virginia to New Jersey every 2 weeks, I panicked and bought the cheapest thing I could find: a Kia Soul. There went the money I was going to use for a motorcycle.

I'm still planning to get a motorcycle someday. I still haven't decided on new/used or 250/600/1200. I love the way the Ninja 250 looks. I've talked to people who use them as "daily drivers", and claim it does really well.

Why I Don't Put Bumper Stickers On My Car

When I got to be old enough to drive, I wanted to show my love or appreciation for all kinds of things by buying bumper stickers for my car. It was the early 90's, so there was a healthy market for that kind of thing. My parents told me not to because the paint under the bumper sticker would fade at a different rate than the paint on the rest of the car, and would look bad when the bumper sticker came off.

Now, more than 20 years later, I find that reasoning just as dumb as I did at 16 or 17. Who cares if the paint fades differently? I'll be trading the car in before I take the bumper sticker off. The faded paint is the wholesaler's problem.

But I've found a much better reason not to put bumper stickers on my car.

Selective Laziness

It amazes me how quickly my mind can forget capabilities I take for granted. I just had one of these things happen a few moments ago.

Tomorrow is a good friend's birthday. The party is tonight. I don't have a card or gift yet.

I've made a bad habit of showing up at parties with just my smiling face and brilliant personality. I have an excuse. I'm a geographic bachelor. Most of my money goes to having to live in two places and drive back and forth. But that's a poor excuse. I've known people in worse circumstances who still manage to be generous with qualities other than their time.

So I started arguing with myself. At least, when this happens, one side manages to win. The other side usually acknowledges that side is right, then does nothing.

"You have to get a gift"

"I don't have the money"

"It doesn't have to be expensive"

"Oh."

"You have to get a card too"

"I don't know where to get one. I'm not paying grocery store prices"

"Dumbass, you have Google Maps. Just type in card place or some search term"

"Oh, yeah. Doh."

It goes to show you have we have no excuse to not have information in this day and age.

Why Are Old People Often Mystified By Simple Things?

This is a mostly rhetorical rant. I get so little blog traffic, I could say anything I want anyway.

I'll start with a disclaimer: Yes, I respect many members of "the elderly". I know some who have led rich, full lives and have incredible wisdom I can only pray I can extract from them while they're left.

Then there are those old people you run into in public. They've squandered their lives and minds, to the point where you wonder how a person can reach 60 or 70 and be utterly mystified by Pillsbury Biscuits. More on that in a minute.

Ponderosa
We used to have a Ponderosa in Stratford, New Jersey. It was there in 2001 when we first bought our house. I remember it being a good place for Friday dinner. Another day we seemed to end up there a lot was on Sunday. One particular Sunday, two elderly women were at the buffet. They seemed not to understand a single item available at the restaurant. If you've ever been to a Ponderosa, you go in first and pick an entree. Usually steak or seafood or chicken. You also order a drink and pay up front. Then you get a tray and a cup, and you can eat from the salad buffet until your entree arrives. I remember it being a great place to get dinner for $7 or $9.

Traffic and Accidents

This post is nothing but a rant. Don't expect much from it.

I work in the Washington D.C./Northern Virginia area. I previously worked in the South Jersey/Philadelphia area. I've spent my time in traffic. I know traffic is not likely to come to an end for me any time soon.

In the D.C. area, a single accident can cause tens of thousands of people one HELL of a commute. It doesn't even have to be a bad accident.

On August 8, 2011, at approximately 2:30 AM, a truck driver hit a construction barrier on I-95 around Lorton, Virginia. That just happened to be the Monday I had to be at Ft. McNair early for a class I was taking that week. I offered my friend a ride in. We slug, that is, park at a commuter lot and get a ride with somebody else. Occasionally one or both of us drives, and picks up slugs. 3 people are required to be in a car to get in the HOV lanes. It's a great symbiotic system.

My friend called me around 0520 that morning to tell me that I-95 was completely shut down. His wife left about 4:30 AM, and was still stuck in traffic. He knew some back roads, so I picked him up and hoped for the best.

We eventually did make it. I dropped him off and headed into D.C. for my class. The ride home was uneventful. My friend's wife ended up stuck on I-95 until about 9:30 AM. That's 4 hours. Because of one stupid truck driver.

Today, again, an accident. In one lane, northbound I-395 around Arlington, VA. The boneheads in the southbound lanes had to stop to look, causing the HOV lanes and the normal southbound lanes of I-395 to back up into DC. I got off work at 4:00 PM and didn't get home until 7:30 PM.

I've come to what will be called a non-compassionate conclusion on car accidents.

When boats have an accident, the Coast Guard always finds somebody at fault. That's because there is something SOMEBODY could have done to prevent the accident. I'm starting to think this needs to be applied to cars.

In the DC area, one freaking idiot driving too fast and slamming into another idiot in front of him who stopped too fast can set tens of thousands of people back HOURS. It can turn a 45 minute commute into 3-4 hours.

I used to tell my kids that accidents happen when you don't pay attention to what you're doing. The same is true for car accidents. Most car accidents are caused by somebody going too fast, not paying attention to other cars on the road, texting, or not maintaining their car. All car accidents are preventable in one way or another.

Anymore, when I see a car accident that sets me back, I think "how rude". I'm sure at least one party is innocent, but in any car accident, there is always one party that SHOULD have done something different to prevent the accident. And that is rude.