Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Book Review: Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011 by Athol Kay

I wish this book had been around a long time ago.
Some people make marriage look easy. I don’t. We celebrated our 10th anniversary this year, and it’s been a bumpy ride.
I’ve read tons of books on marriage, mostly from a Christian perspective. I’ve read Love and Respect, His Needs, Her Needs, The Christian Husband, several Dobson books, Love Languages, and many others I don’t have time to count. Under the theory that reading three books on any subject makes you an expert (as many people barely read one book on a single subject), I should have multiple doctorates in the study of marriage. Yet I’ve struggled.
I’ve been reading a lot about game lately. Vox Day started writing about it on his blog. Then he started a blog specifically devoted to game. Then I started reading other blogs. Then Vox wrote a brief review of the book “Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011”. I checked out the corresponding blog, and bought the Kindle version of the book. It’s tremendously helpful to me.
I’ll attempt to explain game, but I’ve only been reading about it for a couple of months. Others can do a better job. Check out Alpha Game Plan, Roissy, and of course Athol Kay’s Married Man Sex Life blog (now behind an adult content warning thanks to mindless anonymous coward complaints. Game attempts to break down into easy to remember rules how women think and act, and how men can work with it. Some game blogs are written from the attempt to manipulate women. Others simple to understand why they do what they do and deal with it. Some are written specifically for guys seeking to sleep with as many women as possible. Athol Kay’s is the most married friendly site, although I’m attempting to synthesize points from all the game blogs I read into my own worldview and framework.
Under game, men are broken into categories, usually Alpha and Beta. Vox Day’s Alpha Game Plan, which focuses on a Socio-Sexual Hierarchy rather than only a sexual hierarchy, has more categories. I believe I fit somewhere between a Delta and a Gamma on Vox Day’s hierarchy. I’m mostly a beta on the binary (alpha-beta) hierarchy, for whatever that’s worth.
Once the categories are defined and the characteristics of each are laid out, it’s supposed to be possible to improve your ranking, and therefore your appeal to women, even your own wife.
On to the book review. Athol Kay is a male nurse. He’s been married for 16 years and has two daughters. He boasts of having had sex with his wife more than 5000 times in those 16 years.
In the book, he lays out what he’s learned, and how he improved his own marriage. His work has helped countless men (and some women). In many cases, the wife will come across the blog and site and try to get her husband to read it, because apparently Athol is onto something about what women really want in a husband.
The book is divided into four parts. Part One, Chapters 1-5, is “What She Really Wants”. This is where he explains the basics of his game plan, how it works, and why it works. He explains women’s cycles, “The Body Agenda”, what Alpha and Beta male traits are, and Sex Rank.
Part Two is “The Male Action Plan (MAP). This spans chapters 6-16. He talks about how to improve your body, mind, health, and leading your wife and children. He doesn’t just give theory like many marriage books. He gives solid tips and examples you can implement.
Part Three is “The Sexy Moves”. It consists of chapters 17-24. These are the romantic and erotic moves you can put on your wife and how to do them. It’s taken me years to figure out that it’s my place to initiate. I’ve been treating romance like a democracy, and it kills the mood.
Part Four is “When Push Comes to Shove”. In some cases, things have already come unraveled by the time the man gets this book. This is how to deal with those types of situations. It consists of Chapters 25-29.
Finally, Chapters 30 and 31 provide a summary of the book with “Ten Things You Can Do Right Now” and the author’s conclusion. He intends to update the book yearly as his own knowledge increases. I’m not sure what updates he can make, or how often the book has to be purchased to stay current. When I reviewed the “Revised and Expanded Wild At Heart”, I physically compared the two books page by page to see what changed. I wasn’t impressed with the few changes constituting the label of “revised and expanded”. Hopefully, Athol Kay does a better job with his planned yearly revisions.
One more comment. Often when a blogger writes a book, the book is little more than previously written blog posts, perhaps organized into a book format. Sometimes the blogger doesn’t even do that much work. Several posts are slapped into a book in whatever order they happen to fall. I don’t get that sense with “Married Man Sex Life Primer”. I haven’t read back through Athol’s past blog posts yet, and I get the sense the book and blog compliment each other very well. I’ve added the blog to my RSS feeds in Google Reader.
You can buy the book through my Amazon affiliate link below. If you’re planning to buy the book, please do. In order to provide for my family, I’m currently living away from my family. If you enjoy my book reviews and plan to buy the book anyway, buying through my affiliate link will help me see my family more often, and perhaps buy new books to review to help you with your own reading choices.

The Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
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