Wednesday, June 19, 2013

A Manual Window. How Quaint.

I recently traded my 2011 Kia Soul in for a 2013 Ford Focus S. I figured I'd get a slight car upgrade before the divorce and short sale of the house decimate my credit for years to come.

For some reason, Ford designed the Focus S with manual windows in the back seat.

A couple weeks ago when I was back in New Jersey, I took my boys out to breakfast. It was a little hard to endure the "Can Mom come?" The best answer I could give is "Mommy can't come out with us again. This is your time with me". How I'm supposed to explain "Mommy doesn't want to be married to me" without violating that badmouthing clause of the divorce agreement is still a mystery to me.

This was the fist time they'd ridden in my new car. As soon as they were in the back seat, I hear "Dad, what's this?" Joshua was holding the manual window handle.

I had to explain to them how, in the dark ages, we didn't have power windows. We had to roll our own windows down. I told them that as I remember it, when I was their age, only rich people had power windows. That blew their minds. They've never known a world without power windows.

I took them to Denny's for breakfast. Didn't quite realize neither one of them would eat a children's meal, so it cost a little more than I expected, but it was a good time.

Then I let them play with the manual windows. They wanted to ride with the windows down, so I obliged. I also got on the highway. They loved it. We had a lot of fun. We went to look at game systems at Wal-mart, then I took them back for their mother's previously scheduled activities. Even though the divorce isn't final yet, I considered it my first visitation.

And they're a lot more fun without their mother around.

That's something I struggle with. For years, the ex wife would tell me I wasn't a good father, that I didn't do enough with the children. Then, whenever I wanted to take them somewhere, she'd have some nonsensical reason why I shouldn't.

The divorce is very painful. It sucks. It's going to take a long time to get over. But I am glad I don't have to deal with her control freak nature anymore. I feel a lot more at peace about that part of it. Being told I wasn't a good father by her for years hurt, especially since she never could tell me what she defined a good father as. All she could tell me was that I didn't measure up.
Post a Comment