Thursday, June 14, 2012

Thank You, Maddox (on Movie Spoilers)

*Note on spoilers: if you're the type of moron who clicks on a movie review and expects a warning about spoilers, it's time for you to climb a bridge and reflect on life and the decisions you've made. There's no such thing as a good movie review that doesn't contain spoilers. Also, what does it even mean to have a movie "spoiled?" Someone gave away the ending? Boo hoo! You watch a movie for the experience and story telling, nobody cares about you having some personal revelation about the plot the first time you see the movie. Everyone knows how every superhero movie ends (here's a spoiler: the superhero always wins--gasp), yet billions of people still watch them. If spoiling a movie mattered, then people wouldn't own movies they've seen before. I will never list "spoiler alert" to placate you dipshits, so spare me your tearful pleas.

From his review on Prometheus (which I haven't seen).

I prefer to go into a movie knowing how it ends. That way, I can focus my attention on how the story gets there. I've long since grown weary of people around whom I have to be VERY, VERY careful when discussing movies and TV shows they haven't seen yet, but plan to. I remember in about 1999 when a friend took me to see Ronin. The next day, I mentioned it to my roommate and his fiance. I said something like "but they never did tell you what was in that damn briefcase". My friend's fiance got really angry at me for "giving the ending away". I didn't know at the time that they were on their way out the door to watch that same sucking movie. Seriously, Ronin sucked.

I've been watching Lost lately, and reading ahead on Wikipedia. I got tired of trying to figure out what the deal was with characters like Ben Linus and Richard Alpert. I'm in Season 5. I didn't watch it when it was on TV.
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