Friday, July 26, 2013

YouTube: Wife Filmed Throwing A Tantrum

I've seen this video pop up in a few places.

Some random thoughts and comments:

If my ex-wife or I had filmed each other, neither of us would come out in a good light. I'm kind of glad it didn't happen.

It's a bad thing when people form an opinion of another person based only on second or third hand information. He tells her something about how she can go ahead and start texting her friends and complain about how awful he is. At the end of the video, she says something about what all the people at her work will say. He says something about wait until they see the video.

I can sympathize with both of them. Through the struggles of my failed 12 year marriage, I've always been highly conscious of the need to render, as accurately as I can, my struggles with my ex-wife. I didn't want people to see me as a saint and her as a failure. We were both failures. I know she has friends who hate me, but have never met me. I have one friend who is mad at her for what she's done to me over the years, but he is the only one I consider having earned the right. He is my best friend; over 18 years going back to my Navy days. He's seen the struggles I've been through and what I've done to try to make the marriage work. He has earned the right to be mad at her because he knows me best; he knows when to call bullshit on me. Her friends, who hate me but have never met me, I don't believe have earned it. But I don't want nor need their approval anyway, so they can hate me. It means nothing to me.

I don't know anything about this husband and temper-tantrum wife outside of this 3 minute video. I think it's designed to show her in a bad light, which she plays into well. I don't know anything about him and the way he treats her, other than she acts like a spoiled child in this video and he seems to act rationally, up to telling her that her coworkers might change their minds when they see this video.

We're entering into a different age; the age in which anything you do or say can be caught on camera by somebody. Mark Dice has done a lot of videos about Google Glasses, and how you never know who will be watching and recording you. He calls for engineers to create Google Glass blockers; devices that render the recording capabilities of those things inoperative in your presence.

The scary thing is, say you're out with friends. Say you're just letting off some steam being sarcastic about work. Somebody records it, and shows the video to your boss. Now you're fired. Or at the least, in a lot of trouble.

Ever heard of the Panopticon? It's a prison in which the prisoners believe they're being watched constantly, but can't see the watchers. They also watch each other. That's what our society is becoming.

Back to the video, I question why she can't go to the lake herself. A friend said she has a breathalyzer installed in her car as a result of a DUI. I don't plan to watch it again to verify that. I know from my own failed marriage, there were many things I wanted to do but felt I needed her agreement or compliance, and I got frustrated because I couldn't get them from her. Looking back, I should have just done what I wanted to do. Playing by her rules got me nowhere. If I end up in another relationship, I will not repeat that mistake. I have learned to value action over feeling.

UPDATE: Found an article about this:

Further, Jim reportedly later clarified about the circumstances surrounding the tantrum and whether he promised to take her to the lake previously.
“Didn’t promise anything at all. In fact, I had worked 60 hours that week and told her all week that [S]aturday was my day to get stuff done around the house,” he wrote. “But as usual she threw a fit about it. She has broken doors off the jambs at our house…That was the last day I lived in our house. I have moved out and filed a restraining order against her.”
Jim also said he realized his marriage was truly over when his wife defriended him on Facebook.
Defriended on Facebook? My ex-wife (soon to be, at this point, July 2013) hasn't allowed me to connect on Facebook since 2009, when my account started sending her nasty messages saying "Our marriage is over!". I'm now convinced, after talking to people with expertise in Cybersecurity, that she was doing it to herself to make me look bad. After all, what reason did I have at the time to lock my own computer in my own home when I thought I could trust my wife, and her parents and sister who lived with us (long story)?

If she refused to connect with me on Facebook for 4 years, I'm now wondering what the hell was on her account that she didn't want me to see.

I sympathize with "Jim" far more than I did when I originally started drafting this blog post.

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