Sunday, October 05, 2014

Spreadsheet Sex Guy And Frigidity

A month or two ago, a story broke in the "manosphere" about a guy who created a spreadsheet to track a month worth of trying to initiate sex with his wife and her refusals. They apparently did it 3 times within the month, but for the rest of the time, she refused for various reasons such as "I need a shower", which he reports she didn't take until morning. Also, needing to watch a rerun of some vapid sitcom. I think it was Friends.

She took off on a 10 day business trip. He emailed the spreadsheet to her work account, then went radio silent. I don't think anybody knows how it worked out in the end. She posted the spreadsheet to Reddit, didn't get the exact pity she may have been looking for, and pulled it. But it was too late.

That brought back a lot of memories for me. It also gave me a bit of a struggle. As a Christian, I probably shouldn't advocate divorce, but in our current culture, and after what I went through, I'm very tempted to say that men should freely and unapologetically divorce frigid and nagging women. No man should ever have to put up with that shit, and that kind of woman probably deserves to be divorced.

We get a lot of mixed messages in this meme. Both Churchianity and game tell you if your wife is nagging and frigid, it's your fault. If you were either a better Christian man or better at game, you wouldn't have this problem.

This of course seems to remove a woman's moral agency.

But doesn't she make her own choices? Doesn't she have responsibility for her own actions?

She made a marriage commitment. That commitment wasn't "I take you to blah blah blah until you start being a beta or I judge you to not be worthy." But in this paradigm, she's simply a bit player with no ability other than to react to her perception of your worth. She has no responsibility to her commitment (which I speculated women have trouble with).

I doubt any woman starts out in life planning "I'm going to reel some guy in, then turn into an ungrateful, unforgiving, cold hearted, nagging, cheating, frigid bitch!" But sadly, many do. And the claim that they can't help it because you're a beta or not a good Churchian husband only makes me think they shouldn't be allowed to make decisions, either for marriage or divorce. If they're so blown by those winds, maybe they should have an appointed guardian to make their decisions.

Let's break things down. Too many people, especially women, think that marriage is about love. But the feeling they ascribe to love is really infatuation. Once they infatuation goes away, they think they don't feel love anymore. And so, it's time to end the marriage.

Marriage isn't really about love though. At its heart, marriage is a contract.

Why would you enter into a contract with somebody who is incapable of fulfilling it? If you need work done on your house, would you hire a contractor who would stop showing up and stop doing the job because he perceived you to not be good at understanding the project? He just takes the money and leaves because he thinks you're not good at game, and the courts are OK with this?

Hopefully not.

So the lesson is, avoid women who can't fulfill the marriage contract. Marriage is one of the biggest decisions you'll ever make in life, and if it goes wrong, it can have disastrous consequences. It can hinder your economic viability. Believe me; I'm living this.

Also, sex is part of that contract, even if only implied. What man, in his right mind, is going to enter into a marriage contract to not have sex? I suppose it's not a right mind thing though. It's not like women come with a warning on their foreheads that says "I'm sweet and like you now, but within 5 years I'm going to turn into a cold hearted, ungrateful, nagging, cheating, frigid bitch because you ain't got game."
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